I’m Way Too Fine to be This Stressed

It’s been a while since I’ve written.

A LOT has been going on the past few months and I was hoping to have ALL the answers before updating you; however, it seems like some of the answers are more than a little elusive.

Lots of medical jargon coming your way – feel free to jump over any words you don’t know!

 

One thing that’s been going on has been answered! When I had my yearly mammogram in April there were several suspicious areas which ended up needing multiple biopsies. Good news: all biopsies were benign! I’m sporting multiple titanium clips now to mark the exact locations of the biopsies. It turns out that after you have breast cancer once they are extremely cautious about subsequent mammograms. AND – radiation can cause changes to the tissue that looks suspicious when mammogramed.

 

I’ve also developed some interesting crackles and wheezes in my right lung. This has resulted in many Xrays, CT scans and I now have a respirologist on my ever-growing list of doctors. I feel (mostly) fine. I have shortness of breath with exertion and a weird cough but besides that I’m fine.

There have been a few thoughts as to what is causing this –  from Idiopathic Pneumonia (pneumonia occurring in immunocompromised people that doesn’t present with the same symptoms as typical pneumonia – treated with antibiotics) to Radiation Pneumonitis (damage to the underlying lung tissue from radiation to the above breast tissue – treated with prednisone) but as my respirologist, Dr. Flood says, “we won’t know until we know” what it is.

After multiple rounds of antibiotics and a 6-week course of prednisone, I still have the same symptoms. I have an appointment with Dr. Flood on Monday and I am quite sure a bronchoscopy is in my future. I have assisted with many bronchoscopies in my career and after each one, I walk away saying to myself “I never want that to ever happen to me”. The patient is sedated and a flexible scope is inserted into the airways of the lungs to obtain tissue/sputum samples. I will have to put on my big girl panties that day as it is very important this gets figured out and treated before my lungs become scarred.

 

My recent blood work has shown that I am no longer progressing towards remission in my CML with the (very expensive) chemo drug – dasatinib I am on. It could be that all the drugs I was on trying to treat my lungs could have been interfering with the absorption of the dasatinib. My hematologist is going to wait until my next blood work is done in August to decide what to do about this. I think it is the dasatinib itself causing my lung problems. It is not listed as a side effect of the drug but if you do a deep dive into research studies, you can find a few cases of interstitial lung disease in patients taking dasatinib. And we all know if it’s going to happen to anyone it will happen to ME! But again – we won’t know until we know.

 

I’m doing OK with these developments. Sometimes I have a little fear in my heart but mostly I laugh, throw my hands up in the air and say, “can you believe what’s happening now?”.

When you’re talking to me, please feel free to ask how I am. Depending on the day will depend on my response. I invite you to meet me wherever I am – if I’m feeling down, then just listen and be present for me. If I am laughing, feel free to laugh along with me. It is a roller coaster – come along for the ride!

 

Side note – in the last 6 weeks I’ve also dropped a cutting board on my big toe and had warts cut off of fingers of each of my hands (which of course got infected and needed antibiotics to heal) -WHAT’S NEXT??

My dentist wants to replace 3 fillings and I said very emphatically, “NOT NOW”. They are booked for the fall and that may even be tooooo soon!

 

On to positive news – I am now “casual” at work. I was hoping to spend most of the summer at our cottage in Shediac where both Ethan and Ella are living and working but these darn medical things keep bringing me back to Ontario! We are building a garage with an apartment above it onto our cottage and watching that happen is very exciting. I have a trip to Newfoundland planned with my moms’ group that is now 23 years old (whaaaat?)!  And I have 3 couples coming to NB to visit me this summer and I can’t wait to show them the east coast through my eyes – oh what fun we will have!

 

I am extremely thankful for many, many things.

I am thankful for my doctors – I have many and they are all quite possibly the best of the best.

I am thankful for Kevin who has to see the fear in my eyes more than most. (And who lets me build things when I get really scared!).

I am thankful for my coworkers who have listened to me a lot lately. For the longest time I kept you in the dark about my troubles but, since I let you in, you have been a great source of solace.

I am thankful for my friends who are always there. I have awesome friends. (Special shout-out to my Hype Crew who helped me throw a party for my friend and co-worker Sandy – and to Sandy who had a birthday and retired so we could have such a great party!)

I am thankful for my kids who may be tired of hearing me complain about my big toe but always care about the other things wrong (and right) with me!

I am thankful for my family – especially my sister Angela. She has come to my rescue a lot lately without me even knowing I needed rescuing.

 

You never know what someone is going through. Be kind. Always.